Copeland’s laugh, like the actions of a lot of people who use others, is calculated to get a reaction. He’s pushing people’s buttons and it’s working like a charm; most people seem to be unprepared for someone displaying emotions when they don’t actually feel them. It works because people are wired to respond to feelings with feelings. It’s odd how many people don’t stop to think and analyze.
Forgiveness means different things to different people. For some, it’s about putting the past behind them. For me, it’s about taking the time to fully recognize what happened. It’s equally, if not more, about fully recognizing the other person, not just for worse but also for the better. It helps me understand how they came to do what they did; to lay aside blame and let go of anger; and from there, to find the starting points of something more positive and make the most of them.
People who abuse and infringe on others have often suffered themselves. That’s not an excuse for their actions. After all, they’re effectively passing the buck instead of standing up to shift things to a better path. Not everyone has the strength to be responsible. One can forgive while simultaneously recognizing that they are not responsible enough to be trusted.
But the people who simply use others out of sheer greed and selfishness are a tougher case. It takes a callousness that is hard to imagine. I question whether such people are capable of true feelings. Even their feelings for themselves are based on lies and intentional disregard of facts.
Personally, I think forgiveness is not for such people. It’s something to be earned by feeling true remorse and being willing to put in the hard work to make up for one’s wrongs. Even those who are not remorseful in the deeper sense can be forgiven enough, with caution and common sense, to work with them and in doing so, they are more likely to learn something about doing the right thing than if one had simply turned one’s back on them.
But the people who have no regret at all, who would do it again in the blink of an eye...they will only see forgiveness as an exploitable weakness. They will not build anything good from it.
With them, I believe that forgiving is more about taking ourselves out of their sphere of emotional influence. It’s important to separate a factual understanding of their actions from the feelings that they cause. If we cannot let go of those feelings, it becomes part of us and alters us. I think we should not let persons who lack true emotions use our own emotions against us. This means that forgiving them has to be more about letting it go and gaining distance from them, for both perspective and self-protection. Nothing good would come from anything else.
P.S. It hasn’t ended yet. The firing of Esper doesn’t look great, though it may be nothing (hopefully).
Copeland’s laugh, like the actions of a lot of people who use others, is calculated to get a reaction. He’s pushing people’s buttons and it’s working like a charm; most people seem to be unprepared for someone displaying emotions when they don’t actually feel them. It works because people are wired to respond to feelings with feelings. It’s odd how many people don’t stop to think and analyze.
Forgiveness means different things to different people. For some, it’s about putting the past behind them. For me, it’s about taking the time to fully recognize what happened. It’s equally, if not more, about fully recognizing the other person, not just for worse but also for the better. It helps me understand how they came to do what they did; to lay aside blame and let go of anger; and from there, to find the starting points of something more positive and make the most of them.
People who abuse and infringe on others have often suffered themselves. That’s not an excuse for their actions. After all, they’re effectively passing the buck instead of standing up to shift things to a better path. Not everyone has the strength to be responsible. One can forgive while simultaneously recognizing that they are not responsible enough to be trusted.
But the people who simply use others out of sheer greed and selfishness are a tougher case. It takes a callousness that is hard to imagine. I question whether such people are capable of true feelings. Even their feelings for themselves are based on lies and intentional disregard of facts.
Personally, I think forgiveness is not for such people. It’s something to be earned by feeling true remorse and being willing to put in the hard work to make up for one’s wrongs. Even those who are not remorseful in the deeper sense can be forgiven enough, with caution and common sense, to work with them and in doing so, they are more likely to learn something about doing the right thing than if one had simply turned one’s back on them.
But the people who have no regret at all, who would do it again in the blink of an eye...they will only see forgiveness as an exploitable weakness. They will not build anything good from it.
With them, I believe that forgiving is more about taking ourselves out of their sphere of emotional influence. It’s important to separate a factual understanding of their actions from the feelings that they cause. If we cannot let go of those feelings, it becomes part of us and alters us. I think we should not let persons who lack true emotions use our own emotions against us. This means that forgiving them has to be more about letting it go and gaining distance from them, for both perspective and self-protection. Nothing good would come from anything else.