Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro for Attorney General
He wouldn't be any worse than the Trump appointees, would he?
If you didn’t live in Rochester, New York in the nineties - or if you weren’t a Canadian whose cable TV package included the Fox affiliate in Rochester for some reason - you have no idea what you were missing:
These ads are actually a little more restrained than I remember. I could have sworn he actually held up a (presumably) fake shrunken head in the one where he laments that he can’t present you with the severed head of the person who injured you.
The Mandela Effect at work, I guess.
You’ll be shocked to know that Shapiro might not have been the most ethical practitioner, and that his Wikipedia page includes an entire “Bar Discipline” section:
That said, at least The Hammer was presumably called to the bar while he was practicing law, which is more than can be said for Paul Ingrassia:
It’s not hard to find information about Ingrassia’s past incendiary commentary, including supporting Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes, urging President Donald Trump to “declare martial law” after losing the 2020 election in order to illegally stay in power, and pushing an unsupported birther attack claiming Nikki Haley was constitutionally ineligible to be president. He’s also praised Andrew Tate as an “extraordinary human being,” even though Tate and his brother Tristan Tate are facing criminal indictments in Romania and the U.K. and lawsuits filed by British women accusing Andrew Tate of rape and severe abuse. Regardless of how the criminal cases ultimately are resolved, both Tate brothers have repeatedly bragged on video about abusing and demeaning women, including some who were underage.
Ingrassia’s advocacy for the Tates was not limited to just laudatory tweets and blog posts; he worked for a law firm that represented the brothers regarding a civil litigation matter in Florida. That law firm, the McBride Law Firm PLLC, sent out a press release on July 12, 2023 (archived version here) that touted Ingrassia as “a graduate of Cornell Law School and an Associate Attorney at the McBride Law Firm, PLLC” and bragged about his work helping “facilitate” the Tate brothers’ interview with Tucker Carlson.\
The problem, as reported by the Daily Dot’s Amanda Moore, is that Ingrassia was not yet admitted to the New York State Bar. He would not even sit for the New York Bar Exam for almost two more weeks after that press release and was not admitted to the bar until more than a year later.
As for representing Andrew Tate in court, there’s nothing wrong with that. (As long as you’re an actual lawyer, of course.) There’s a lot wrong with being an outspoken fan of Andrew Tate, though, especially when you’re also a fan of Nick Fuentes:
In 2023, Ingrassia repeatedly praised the controversial “manosphere” influencer Andrew Tate and worked on his legal team. Romanian authorities have accused Tate of human trafficking. Florida’s attorney general also opened an investigation into Tate and his brother, Tristan Tate. The two men deny all wrongdoing.
The top of Ingrassia’s Instagram page features a pinned photo of himself with Andrew Tate, who describes himself as a “misogynist.”
“The Tate brothers provide an opportunity for a better future - one that inspires, rather than degrades, men,” reads Ingrassia’s caption.
The Anti-Defamation League says that Tate “has leaned heavily into unabashedly antisemitic rhetoric, perpetuating Holocaust revisionism, spreading conspiracy theories about Israel, praising Hamas, performing Nazi salutes and encouraging people to embrace and openly engage in racism.”
Ingrassia was also seen at a June 2024 rally in Detroit led by Nick Fuentes, a Holocaust denier and white nationalist.
As Fuentes began his speech, his supporters chanted, “Down with Israel!”
“I don’t know about you,” Fuentes said at the rally, “but calling Donald Trump a racist only makes me like him more.”
Anyway, you know where this is all going, don’t you?
Whether Ingrassia was called to the Bar in 2023 or 2024, I can’t even comprehend the mindset that makes him believe he’s actually up to a job of this magnitude. I mean, I’ve been practicing law for 26 years and I still find myself battling impostor syndrome sometimes.
Alas, poor Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro. He practiced law at a time when being amoral and incompetent brought with it consequences for you.
In the age of Trump it brings you promotion.
Then again, Shapiro is still with us and has even put down roots in Trump’s own adopted home state. If he plays his cards right (by which I mean, pays a lot of money to attend Mar-a-Lago fundraisers) The Hammer could revive his legal career in the biggest way possible, stepping into a top Justice Department post after the current Solicitor General or Attorney General or Deputy Whatever is fired and/or indicted.
And honestly? He’d be a massive improvement, especially if he brought a shrunken head with him to every press conference.